Roommates, pt. 2

Oh god! I have the unfortunate duty of reporting that I think I caught my roommate masturbating in the living room. I was in my room pretty much all day due to a cold while my roommate was in and out of the apartment. I was on my computer and so there was little noise coming from my room. When I decided that a workout would be a good thing to attempt since I had been inside all day, I ventured out of my room. Now I need to explain that my bedroom door is halfway down the hall. At one end of the hall is the bathroom, on the other is the living room and the rest of the apartment. My roommate's room is at the end of the hall, right outside the bathroom door.

When I opened my door to go the bathroom, I heard a "shit" and a thud. When I turned to see what had made the noise, I saw that my roommate had made a dive for the floor from the easy chair that is in view from the hallway. The lights were out in the living room and I really didn't want to investigate. I went straight to the bathroom, put in my contacts and headed back to my room. I think I saw him hunched by the front door. When I went into my room and closed the door, I heard him scurrying to his room.

Ew! Why wouldn't he do that sort of thing in his bedroom? Why wouldn't he think to make sure that I wasn't home? And people wonder why I don't hang out in any other part of my apartment besides my bedroom.

A little background...my roommate creeps me out. While I don't think he's dangerous, I don't offer any information about myself to him or "hang out" with him on any occassion. Perhaps it's because I've found the Village Voice in our apartment open to the phone sex ads in the back of the paper with certain ads torn out of it not once, but on several occassions. Or perhaps it's when I found a low class, amateur porn mag called "Naughty Neighbors" in a stack of papers on the kitchen table. In that particular issue, they had a feature on reader's submissions of "naughty" cell phone pictures. Mostly pictures of cameraphones up skirts. Or maybe it's when the Playboy catalog comes every quarter. Now I understand that porn is a healthy outlet for sexual expression but he's so weird about it and sloppy (he hides his porn like he hides the fact he wears a tupee...meaning badly) that it weirds me out more than if he was just upfront about it. I mean really...does he really think he's fooling me?

I can't believe he dove for the floor...the rug burn...